


Puppy Time

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gabriel thinks it's hilarous, Lucifer insults humans, M/M, Michael has no idea how dogs work, Michael is sort of pathetic, Multi, OT7, Sam withholds sex, jesus the penis, or what they are, really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:26:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Lulu, please,” Michael whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For the last time, we are not getting a puppy!” Lucifer scowls. He’s the last line of defense against his puppy nonsense. Everyone else had long ago agreed to indulge Michael in his childish whim mostly so they’d no longer have to hear his whining. He’s tired of Michael’s whining, too, but he the need to be stubborn is far more compelling than his need for peace and quiet. He knows that if the stronger archangel wanted to, he could just manifest a puppy here and now and there would have been nothing any of them could do about it, but they’d agreed to do things the human way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But Lulu, it’ll be a magical puppy that never ages so it’ll stay cute forever!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puppy Time

“Lulu, _please,_ ” Michael whines.

 

“For the last time, we are not getting a puppy!” Lucifer scowls. He’s the last line of defense against his puppy nonsense. Everyone else had long ago agreed to indulge Michael in his childish whim mostly so they’d no longer have to hear his whining. He’s tired of Michael’s whining, too, but he the need to be stubborn is far more compelling than his need for peace and quiet. He knows that if the stronger archangel wanted to, he could just manifest a puppy here and now and there would have been nothing any of them could do about it, but they’d agreed to do things the human way.

 

“But Lulu, it’ll be a magical puppy that never ages so it’ll stay cute forever!” Well, they’d agreed to do things the semi-human way.

 

Lucifer makes a noise of disgust and tries to walk away. Michael just follows him.

 

“You know that we need a puppy in our lives! Our family isn’t complete without an animal!”

 

“We’re living with three of them already,” Lucifer shoots back. “We don’t need another.” The room goes silent and Lucifer belatedly realizes his mistake. Even though he’s mostly a force of good (read: non-evil mayhem) he sometimes slips up and insults the humans in their flock. Like now. “What I meant to say is-”

 

Sam pointedly ignores him and Gabriel starts cackling. “Someone isn’t getting laid tonight!”

 

Lucifer blocks out the sound of the youngest archangel (even though he’s right; Sam punishes him for his occasional mistakes by withholding sex and so far it’s been _very_ effective) and glares at Michael. “No puppy. Not now, not ever.” He pushes Gabriel onto Sam’s lap and sinks down into his brother’s previously occupied and deliciously warm space.

 

Michael goes off to sulk and Adam pulls Sam out of the room. When they come back, Sam settles himself on Lucifer’s lap. “Lucifer,” he says.

 

Lucifer smirks. He’s pretty sure that Adam had convinced Sam to convince him to allow Michael to get a puppy, but he’d already foreseen this and was more than ready to let himself be convinced. “Yes, dear?”

 

Sam gives him a sly smile. “What would it take for you to let Mike get a dog?”

 

Lucifer pretends to think for a moment. “Well, we could always draw from the Fantasy Jar.”

 

Gabriel makes a choked off noise and Lucifer realizes his mistake too late for the second time that day. The Fantasy Jar was something that was supposed to be private between them.

 

“You have a ‘Fantasy Jar?’” Dean snorted. “Having orgies every night isn’t enough for you guys, is it?”

 

“Dean, don’t you remember that time we-” The rest of Castiel’s sentence is muffled by Dean’s mouth.

 

“That’s it, Luce?” Sam asks. He leans forward and whispers some delightfully filthy suggestions in Lucifer’s ear. Gabriel listens in. By the time Sam is done, all three of them are blushing and Lucifer is more than a little hard.

 

Lucifer crashes his lips to Sam’s and they both moan. “Gonna fuck you right here on the couch,” he says in between kisses.

 

Adam leaves and Dean rises to follow. When Cas doesn’t stand immediately after Dean, Dean glares at him. “You’re not gonna watch _again,_ are you?”

 

“I find their coupling extremely pleasurable to watch.” He licks his lips. “If you know what I mean.”

 

“Dude, you can’t just wa-” He trails off because he knows that his argument is going nowhere. They watch each other all the time and regularly have sex in the same room.

 

“He’s welcome to watch,” Lucifer says.

 

Gabriel waggles his eyebrows. “Or join in.”

 

“Well, he’s welcome to join tomorrow,” Sam corrects.

 

Lucifer’s brows furrow. “Why wait?”

 

Sam climbs off of Lucifer. “I wouldn’t want you to get arrested for bestiality.”

 

Lucifer thinks for a moment, then remembers his earlier comment. “Sammy, you know I didn’t mean-”

 

“I know you didn’t, but think of all the fun things we can do tomorrow if you let Michael get his puppy.”

 

Lucifer deflates. He’d actually wanted the puppy almost as bad as Michael had and had just been stubborn to annoy the older archangel and see what he could milk from the situation. Quite a lot, it turned out. Just not today. “Fine. Let him get his stupid mutt.”

 

Michael squeals from the doorway and jumps on Lucifer’s lap (which isn’t the best idea, being that Lucifer’s Christ the Redeemer is fully erect) and starts to kiss his face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He finishes with a kiss to Lucifer’s mouth. “I love you!”

 

Lucifer wipes his mouth. “If you want a puppy, maybe you should look in the mirror. You slobber.”

 

Michael jumps up and kisses all of them. He finishes by sweeping Adam off his feet and spinning him around. “What kind of puppy should we get, Adam? What about a pug puppy? Or a German Retriever? Or a platypus! Oh, I know, let’s go to the puppy shop!” He snaps and all of them land in an alleyway next to an animal shelter in North Dakota.

 

Gabriel shakes his head. “Raise your hand if you want to go home.”

 

Everyone but Adam and Michael raise their hand. Gabriel snaps, and only Michael and Adam are left in the alley. “I could bring them back,” Michael suggests, raising one hand to make it happen.

 

Adam takes Michael’s hand in his. “It’s our puppy, Mike. Let’s pick it out together.”

 

Michael smiles. “Let’s.”


End file.
